The Insecure Path
My Artistic Evolution a Journey from Doubt to Discovery
I want to share with you my artistic journey, a journey that I believe has only just begun. It's a story about following one's heart, even if it means veering away from the path we initially set for ourselves. My journey is a testament to the fact that insecurities weren't a bad thing because they led me to where I'm supposed to be, and along this path, I've learned to build my confidence as an artist and as a person.
My story starts in 2012 when I enrolled at Rome's Academia Italiana to study fashion design. I was passionate about painting and creating fashion illustrations and collages at the time. I had a lot of fun painting garments and experimenting with different materials to make my ideas come to life. I remember moments when my professors praised my work, and one even showcased my fashion illustrations to the third-year students, saying, "This is how you do a fashion illustration." But I never considered myself a good artist; I was always concerned with meeting my own standards and striving for excellence. I knew what good art looked like and believed I was far from it. Praise meant nothing to me.
Even now, as I held my first solo exhibition, I was already planning how to make it better. This drive to never settle and always strive for improvement has been a constant throughout my journey. It's a trait that propels us forward in our creative undertakings.
During my time at Academia Italiana, though, an intriguing situation happened. A professor once said, "I never knew an artist could be a fashion designer." This reply perplexed me because I had always imagined myself as a fashion designer, inspired by individuals such as Alexander McQueen during the Platos Atlantis era. Yet, in practice, I found myself enjoying the artistic aspects of fashion more than anything else. I couldn't decide whether this was a good or a negative thing.
Fashion design, with its strict rules and techniques, left little room for spontaneity. On the other hand, creating art allowed me to express myself authentically without constraints. While I could design and make a dress, I didn't feel as fulfilled as when I crafted a collage art piece from scratch. It was in these moments of artistic freedom that I found my true calling.
I had a few educational attempts, initially stubbornly pursuing fashion design in Rome and later in Belgrade. But it was my insecurities that led me to sculpture. During a sculpture lesson, I decided to stray from the norm and make something that showed my own vision. The professor recognized my ambition and handed me a lattice construction used for clay portraits. As I worked on my sculpture, I realized I had discovered something that spoke to me deeply—sculpture. I didn't continue my fashion studies in Belgrade; instead, I moved to Budva, Montenegro. I dabbled in Orthodox Christian Iconography and explored various themes. I got a job, and I was slowly giving up on art.
In 2017, my insecurities led me to this unexpected but fulfilling path. I enrolled at the Faculty of Fine Arts in Cetinje, marking a period of exploration and self-discovery. Often, I became entangled in the guidance and advice of others, mostly professors. I learned that sometimes, we need to trust our instincts and do our own thing, even if it means not following every piece of advice. My time at the Faculty wasn't without its challenges, and I struggled to produce meaningful art. During this time, I wondered if I was truly an artist. But I had love and support, and that made all the difference.
Upon completing my education, I was expected to graduate and hold an exhibition. "Bereshit" was born during this time, inspired by the very beginning of the Holy Torah, Genesis 1:1-6:8. However, I did not feel prepared to show myself to the public as an artist with this theme. "Bereshit" was complex, sacred, and I lacked the knowledge to do it justice. So, I set it aside and continued to explore.
Then there was "Komorebi." Ideas flowed rapidly, and I felt a deep connection to this theme. "Komorebi" struck a chord with the public, conveyed a message, and enabled me to connect with others through my art. It seemed like a perfect fit. I chose only the best pieces from "Komorebi," and I finally felt ready to present myself as an artist to the world.
My journey has been a lesson in persistence and self-discovery. It's a reminder that it's okay to change course when you find a path that aligns with your true passion. Uncertainty and insecurity can lead to unforeseen opportunities, and success occurs when you discover a cause that genuinely connects with you. Now, when I shared "Komorebi" with the world, I remain humble and hopeful that my exhibition will be recognized for its worth and that it will inspire and provoke thought in those who view it.
No matter how long it takes, as long as we know what we're looking for, we'll find it. Just like I found my way to present myself as an artist to the world. It's a testament to the fact that our journeys are unique, and the twists and turns often lead us to where we are meant to be.
On my journey thus far, I've discovered that insecurities, those moments of doubt and uncertainty, were not roadblocks; they were stepping stones. They pushed me to explore new avenues, to challenge myself, and to discover my true calling. Insecurities were not a sign of weakness, but rather a driving force that spurred my drive to keep searching for what truly resonated with me.
In the world of art, finding one's voice and style can be a lifelong quest. It is not always a straight path, and it is acceptable to pivot, shift direction, and reinvent yourself as an artist. What matters most is that you are on a path of self-discovery and that every step, every struggle, and every moment of uncertainty is part of the process.
The story of my journey is a testament to the power of persistence and the importance of embracing our insecurities as catalysts for growth. It took time, patience, and a desire to venture into unfamiliar territory, but it eventually led me to a point where I could offer myself to the world as an artist.
So, to all of you who are struggling with doubts and uncertainties on your creative journey, I say embrace them, learn from them, and allow them to guide you towards your genuine passion and purpose. Your path may be winding, but it's your unique journey, and it's leading you to where you are meant to be.
I encourage each of you to welcome your unique artistic journeys, complete with their unexpected twists and turns, and have faith that, like me, you'll discover your path to genuine creative satisfaction.
With gratitude and a heart full of hope,
The is a beautiful piece of writing, and so much respect to you for sharing so honestly on how your work has been shaped by these things. I'm sure so many artists will resonate!